Rambling Through Dark Spaces..
We are taught to have a word to accurately depict our feelings. Sad, Happy, Joyful, Angry. But what if there is a consistent sinking un-wholeness in your gut? Waking up every morning feeling so sick to your stomach from anxiety that you literally cannot eat breakfast. What is that called? Most days it is a struggle to get out of bed. I wonder if people actually know what that is like. Sometimes I wake up knowing that I don't have enough mental/emotional strength to get me through the day. I am on antidepressants, yes. But these days, they only help some . I have no psychiatrist for my refill, and that scares me. 14 pills left before I'm in a bad situation. What if I fall further into the void? What if I can't control my emotional issues at all? How will I keep up at work and at home without them? I am so scared of that reality, and the fear gets to me. I have been calling psychiatrist after psychiatrist with no luck. "Not taking new patients, sorry." and ...