When My Brother Calls
Having a loved one with severe mental illness is a whirlwind all its own. To care for someone with all your heart, and not know how to help or interact with them is an aching heaviness I try my best to unpack when I have the capacity. Its hard being a good sister when I don't know how to answer his calls. When My Brother Calls Suddenly I am frozen. I try to remember the last time I heard from him. Maybe he’s going to ask me for money to help pay off another credit card he maxed out. I’ll tell him i can’t help this time. He’ll say I never do. He’ll yell. He’ll curse. I will listen, Paralyzed and quiet, never fanning the flame. Temples throbbing Eyes leaking - wishing I had a spliff. The phone vibrates in my hand, (Don’t answer it.) When he was really little, I’d tell him we were friends and he would glow like morning. His name waits impatiently on my screen, What if he’s manic again... (Don’t answer it.) But maybe he had an episode in a white neighborhood w...